The Guardian’s Story

Elizabeth St. Cyr Roberts

My Mom was an exceptionally giving and loving person all of her life. At the youthful age of 58, her life took an incredibly unexpected turn. For two years, we sought one specialist after another to find out why her eyesight was failing.  She was finally diagnosed with a pituitary brain tumor. Mom beat the odds beautifully. Dr. Bogan, a top notch neurosurgeon, performed two surgeries to remove a huge mass. After three bouts of radiation and four years of fearing the worst, she was on the mend. We could breathe a deep sigh of relief.

My brother Derrell and his wife Tina took on the role of primary caregiver for mom and I moved to Denver to marry an amazing man, Kevin. For a while, life was good. Overtime, high blood pressure and uncontrolled diabetes continued to be a nuisance for mom. Although grand mal seizures, a diabetic coma, multiple hospitalizations, intubation, and a trach that stayed in for 6 months scared us to death, none of this got mom down. Evenutually however, a catastrophic stroke changed life as we knew it.

October, 04 - Mom was rushed to the nearest trauma hospital but instead of being seen immediately, she was left on a gurney in the hallway for 10 hours. 3 gunshot wounds trumped mom's right to immediate care.  The live in caregiver was distraught and I was useless as I phoned the hospital from Colorado begging them to see my mother.  Derrell, who was out of town rushed back to the hospital in Sacramento.  He was furious that mom had not received any real treatment and took her home.  I arrived in Sacramento two days later and one look at my mom, confirmed to this layperson, that if she hadn't had a stroke, something was seriously wrong. We got her to the doctor's office and he immediately had her admitted and a massive stroke was confirmed. She spent 30 days in the same hospital. This time she got the royal treatment. The prognosis however, was not good. We were advised to admit her into a nursing home because according to them, there was no way we would be able to care for her at home. They didn't know if she'd live 3 weeks, 3 months or 3 years.

No way we were going to place mom in a nursing home. We knew she'd never survive it. So for six months we provided round the clock care at home. I flew back to Sacramento every two weeks. We hired and fired quite a few caregivers along the way. The family team in Calif. was exhausted and unable to keep up the 24/7 pace. Six months later, May, 2004 we packed her up and moved her to Denver, CO where my husband Kevin and I could care for her.

Moving mom away from family and friends was a tough, tough choice.  Kev & I were the only ones in a position to care for her at home. Finding good help would prove to be a near impossible hurdle. After going through 7 agenicies, and a revolving door of approximately 12 caregivers, we hit the jackpot with Maryna.  She was the caregiver we had been praying and waiting for.

They said mom would probably never walk again, but for a while she did. She regained her speech and her cognitive skills improved dramatically. Thanks to diet and exercise, high blood pressure & diabetes were under control. Quality of life was good. This tough cookie was on the mend. Severe anemia would soon plague mom, somewhere along the way she had contracted Hepatitis C. In ’05 her doctor suggested we start hospice. We vehemently disagreed. Kevin had a better idea, instead of hospice, we would take her to Hawaii for her dream vacation. For six months things were really good.

Afterwards, she would endure multiple hospitalizations for severe anemia, blood transfusions, UTI’s, altered mental status and gastrointestinal problems.  Congestive heart failure was becoming a concern.  Through it all, we always had goals, something for mom to look forward to - her birthday, her mom or sisters visiting, another trip, her mom’s 90th birthday.  

Mom and Kevin had a really special bond.  We’d go out and folks would ask Kev if she was his mother, he’d tease and say, this is our little baby girl.  Kev was mom’s motivator, physical therapist, confidant and road warrior.  

We were fortunate to have my dear friend Pat come out monthly to help out with mom. My sister in law Anya of Seattle was faithful until the very end, relieving me often.  I don’t know what I would have done without the two of them.

In August of 2007 to our utter disbelief, mom was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer.  How in the world does someone who sees a doctor every two weeks, and has been hospitalized as many times as she have stage IV breast cancer?  It was the ultimate insult.  Surgery was not an option, radiation and chemo was out.  Arimidex would be our only hope.  

It was now time for a major diversion.  Six weeks later, for her 71st birthday, we would have a celebration to end all birthday celebrations.  60 family members arrived from all over the country to spend the weekend in the mountains of Estes Park loving on mom and giving her her flowers while she could appreciate them.

Four months later, it was clear that Arimidex simply wasn’t working.  In February of 2008 we started hospice.  A couple weeks later we would take mom back home to California where we were sure she would have a few months to enjoy warm temperatures, family and friends.

Instead, she had six days.  She asked for her mom, who arrived right away and bid her the sweetest of smiles. She then closed her eyes for the final time.  Mom passed on March 16, 2008.   

The CareGiver’s Guardian, LLC – Consulting Services is a tribute to mom, the ultimate caregiver – and now our Guardian Angel.